Well this is a film that i was a) reluctant to bother watching in the cinema, b) reluctant to rent and c) fell into watching when i had absolutely nothing to do last week. I am afraid to say it was almost a complete waste of time, sorry did i say almost. It was a total waste of time. OK so some of the graphics were impressive, but cmon if you want a visually stunning film you can watch Sin City or any number of quality sci fi's or war films and your bound to get great cinematography.
The real problem with this was the failure of the film to really feel like a flowing story. You start with a load of Mammoth hunters in an icy terrain/Tundra one of whom is going to become the next great leader, so far so good. Then the horse demons come, obviously at this point I'm expecting a 13th Warrior style movie with a battle between the hunters and the people who came on horses to raid the village possibly from a more advanced Viking race or something given the Arctic conditions.
Instead what we get is a legend/prophecy which takes us across Africa uniting all of the Tribes with the hunters to claim back the people who were taken in the numerous raids by what turns out to be Slave Traders. Now, i don't know for sure but unless I'm mistaken I'm pretty sure horse riding slave traders would not really have come across sabre tooth tigers or giant dinosaur birds and i don't know if they would travel across the whole of Africa just rounding people up but leaving a load of others then trotting past them to go to the next much much further away tribe.
We end up in Egypt, where else!?!?!, where the dastardly Egyptians are using said incarcerated slaves to build the pyramids to great effect. Que typical slaves/mob turns on rulers action scene (think really bad version of Stargate which curiously Roland Emmerich also demonstrated maybe he was running out of idea with this one) and we get what the prophecy obviously predicted.
The one saving grace of the movie is the stunning Camilla Belle but even just looking at her doesn't quite get you through the pain as she is barely in the film. Poor Script pretty terribly acted and just a load of bollox really.
2/10
I liked it you fuck. It was better than Mel Gibson's attempt at that sort of film. I did see it at the cinema though so that probably helped. Fuck off. Thanks for the review though.x
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